Personal Development is just like anything else in the world - in order to get the most out of it, you'll need people to help you along the way. The trick is to find the right type of people who will help you attain your goals without bogging you down in the process. Link to Full Story
This week's Link Love edition runs the gamut from being a kid all the way up through being the future you, and includes many ideals and systems for maximizing the entire journey! Link to Full Story
Is this the death of positive thinking? Hardly! However, knowing how to use positive thinking as a tool means understanding how it works - both the good, as well as the bad. Link to Full Story
Is your blueprint for life one that will ensure the building of a life of joy and contentment, or one that will be dependent on certain circumstances in order for you to be happy? Link to Full Story
Negative "energy vampires" are not living a life full of happiness and success, yet they will happily drag you down to their level unless you escape their clutches before it is too late!
Use these 5 basic guidelines as an outline that will help to safeguard you from negativity, and will also help you to identify negative people so that you can remove yourself from their sphere of influence.
No Gossiping
It doesn't matter how justified you think you are in talking about other people's perceived shortcomings, doing so will never serve to bring about positive results.
When people do things that you don't agree with or that you don't understand, all that demonstrates is that they do not see life in the same way that you see it. It doesn't it make them a bad person, it just means that their understanding of any given situation is different than yours.
Granted, in many circumstances it may seem painfully obvious that someone could have handled a situation in a more positive manner. However, even if that is the case, rehashing the details with other people will only perpetuate the negativity.
In addition, many people thrive on discourse and chaos, so by participating in negative discussions about others, all you are doing is indirectly giving people permission to continue adding fuel to that fire. When you are seen as a "negative fuel source," you will invariably find that people will continue stopping by to get a fill-up!
No Whining or Complaining
Let me ask you this: Does whining or complaining about any given situation actually do anyone any good whatsoever?
I'm not talking about constructive criticism, learning from our mistakes, or recognizing pitfalls so that we can avoid them in the future. No, I'm talking about when a situation is already clearly less than desirable, yet you continue to talk about how undesirable it is!
When the office thermostat is broken and it is cold as a deep-freeze in your building, will anything be gained by continuing to repeat the obvious? If your spouse or significant other is being (in your opinion) unreasonable, are you going to gain anything by constantly spouting off about how upset you are about the situation?
Complaining accomplishes absolutely nothing other than drawing attention to an already less than favorable set of circumstances. If something is worth complaining about, then it is also worth taking action on. Stop whining, and start taking action, because if you don't, all of the whiners and complainers will crowd around you in order to get their negativity fix.
No Co-Dependency
All of us have friends, family members, or co-workers who bring real-world negative issues to us, and ask for our input. Sometimes they are looking for advice, while other times they just want to "vent".
In either case, however, pumping up their already negative point of view by agreeing how terrible any given situation is will only serve to cement in their minds how terrible that situation is! In addition, you will be sending them the clear signal that you are willing to be a sounding board for their complaints in the future.
Rather than rallying the forces of negativity in order to combat someone's issues, instead just provide for them a calming, reassuring voice of reason when their lives are in turmoil. Don't turn your back on them, but don't fuel their point of view that they are the "victim" either.
Instead, listen with a compassionate ear while keeping your own feelings in check. You will do them much more of a service by helping them to find a positive spin on their situation rather than becoming a participant in their negativity.
No Cross Contamination
It is impossible to swim in a river full of muddy water, yet still be able to get out of that river without a speck of dirt on you. The only way to avoid that dirt - or that negativity - is to refuse to take a dip into that river in the first place.
From an emotional standpoint, it is not possible for you to participate in negativity, and then go back into your positive bubble without dragging some of that negativity in with you.
Most people would say that it is not possible for them to completely avoid negativity, and I would tend to agree. However, just because you are physically present in a situation does not mean that you need to actually participate on an emotional level.
You can be involved in a discussion or in the resolution of a negative situation without allowing your own emotional set point to drop down to a less-than positive level. When life throws negativity at you, stay in the game, but practice equanimity in order to handle the situation without allowing the negative vibrations to affect you on an individual level.
No Being "Holier than Thou"
After finding all of these great ways to recognize and avoid negativity, it becomes very easy to think that you are somehow "different" than everyone else. You start to feel "enlightened" and you recognize how a large number of the people in your life are on planes, trains, and automobiles that are all headed in the wrong direction.
Here's a clue: get a grip on yourself! You are no better, nor any worse than any of those people. Those people are neither better, nor any worse than you.
The only difference between the "enlightened" you and the people who practice negativity is that you see things from a different point of view than they do. It is not appropriate for you to try to force your way of thinking onto those people, and in most cases it is also quite impossible.
By running around life with an attitude that you are somehow better than other people, all you will do is serve to alienate most of the people around you. Then, before you know it, other "holier than thou" individuals will start to flock to your side. Then all you will have accomplished is serving to divide your circle of influence into people who live on the "right" or the "wrong" side of the tracks - from your point of view.
Conclusion:
By following guidelines similar to the methods that you just read, and by practicing the fine art of being positive, you will begin to enjoy your life and consciously create it to be whatever it is that you want it to be.
That's the prize.
However, be advised that these success habits are just that - habits. Only practicing them when it is convenient for you to do so will only bring about positive results in small doses. Consistency is key.
Also, be prepared to burn some bridges in the process. Right now in your life there are probably people who will fade away completely when they realize that you will not be participating in their drama anymore.
The ladder of success is never crowded at the top!
Okay, I know I am dating myself by even posting that title, but if you know what it means, then you can consider yourself dated as well!
However, for those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, here is a brief primer, to be followed by how modern society can use this power for our own benefit.
Back in the {ahem} late 70's, one of the most popular cartoons that featured Superman was called The All-New SuperFriends Hour. It was a remake of the original SuperFriends, and it featured a few new characters, including Zan and Jayna, also known as The Wonder Twins.
It was all very exciting and entertaining, and the takeaway that I want you to remember is that they could only use their powers if they worked together!
Individually, they were just aliens with a pet monkey called Gleek.
So, why is that relevant to anyone who reads this blog seeking self improvement or personal development?
Simple - not only can everyone get help by also helping others, but by referring to the usage of the Law of Attraction, the more people who focus on something, the more powerful the affect becomes.
A now famous doctor named Masaru Emoto realized that large groups of people - working together - who focused on various bodies of water at the same time could effect actual vibrational change on that water by offering feelings of gratitude and love towards it.
Check out details of the on-going experiments in that area at the Love and Thanks to Water website.
The human body is comprised almost exclusively of water. Hmmmm…that brings up possibilities, doesn't it?
Now, whether or not you choose to believe in the large-scale effect that human emotions can have on the world around us, there is no denying that this process exists on a smaller scale.
Consider the following:
1) If there is disharmony in your household, and both parents decide that they are going to stop yelling, start being more patient, and start being more understanding, the tension and stress-level in that household goes down almost immediately.
Compare that to what happens if those parents agree to that course of action, but only one of them follows through on the intention.
2) Think of what happens in the workplace when a team of 8 or 10 project workers all get together and decide that they are going clean up their customer service practices, start showing a positive attitude in all aspects of their job, and begin to put focus exclusively on the "greater good".
Compare that to an empowering and uplifting company meeting that leaves everyone ecstatic to even work there, but then a week later each of those employees has gone back to the exact same daily practices and attitudes that they had used previously.
3) Think of a night out on the town when you and 5 of your friends decide that you are going to go out and have fun no matter what, and you are all simply joyous and grateful to be out together taking some well-deserved time off.
Compare that to what happens on that same night on the town when half of your group does nothing but moan and complain about how much they hate their job, how their spouse is being a jerk, and how their kids can't ever seem to stay out of trouble.
In each of these examples (and any other example you can imagine), when each of the participants made an honest, heart-felt, and consistent effort to focus on the positive, then positive results came to all of them on a massive scale, including all of the people who interacted with them.
Coincidence? Hardly.
Feelings are the key to this process, so if you can't muster up the actual emotions of whatever it is that you are trying to accomplish, you might as well not even bother trying.
Saying that you are going to focus on a positive home atmosphere doesn't do a bit of good unless you actually create the feelings - on a consistent basis - of positivity, patience, and understanding.
Saying that you are going to create a positive working environment where the customers, the company, and the employees all benefit will do nothing unless you consistently feel positive and act from a positive mental point of view.
Saying that you and your friends are going to have fun, but then failing to feel stress-free, joyous, and happy to be there will fail to create a stress-free, joyous, and happy environment.
Although it is 100% true that you are only responsible for your own feelings at any single moment in time, it is just as true that if one person feels good, and then another, and another, and another, the effect will multiply exponentially.
So, if you want to sit inside a self-imposed shell of "it's all about ME," you do have the power to be ecstatically happy inside that one little shell.
However, why not break out of the shell and share your ability to consciously create joy and gratitude with others who also choose to exercise that ability?
What have you got to lose?
One of the many constants in our Universe is that there is really no such thing as "standing still". Oh, it may seem like you're standing still - figuratively or literally - but since the entire Universe is made up of constantly vibrating energy, I promise you, nothing is ever completely "still".
We live in an expanding Universe where the mass of energy that makes up all things is constantly seeking expression through every means possible - including the human existence. That energy wants to grow, and "standing still" is simply not an option.
However, that being said, in the figurative version of the term standing still, many people are doing their best to stay exactly where they are in life, despite the fact that they don't really want to be there to begin with.
Some people call this "settling", others use the term "complacency", while some may be harsh enough to simply call those people "lazy".
In his awesome blog, Ben Casnocha said it wonderfully:
'If you settle for 100% or A+ then you are settling. The crave to improve evaporates. If you feel like you've peaked then you've lost your "intrapersonal culture of improvement".'
What a great way to put it! Congratulations, Ben, you have probably just created one of the new buzzword terms for this generation!
Ben is 100% correct. If you stop kicking, biting, scratching, and clawing your way forward in life, then one thing is going to happen beyond a shadow of a doubt -
- you'll start sliding backwards.
Now, that isn't to say that life is supposed to be a struggle, and I don't mean to insinuate that at all. However, as most people are aware, there are often times in life when we are challenged and we have to fight to get what we want out of any given situation.
Sometimes that fight comes in the form of simply knowing when to turn the other cheek. It may come in the form of keeping your mouth shut when you really want to say something negative to someone else. You may have to fight in the form "sticking to your guns" in order to make your dreams manifest into reality.
Whether your version of "fighting" makes your life seem difficult is just your perception of the circumstances. Everything that we deal with in life is dependent 100% on our point of view. (Paraphrased from the immortal words of Obi-Wan Kenobi for you Star Wars fans)
In fact, if you subscribe to the increasingly well-received concept of Quantum Reality, not only is your life dependent on your point of view, it is CREATED by your point of view!
So, if think that your life is a struggle, and that it is easier to just stay where you are rather than taking the steps to move forward, I will refer you back to the top of this post:
If you are not growing, you are _____________________.
If you are not living, you ____________________.
The question that you have to ask yourself is whether or not you are quite ready to throw in the towel?
If you are, then go ahead and just lay down where you are right now. Life will invariably come by and run you over.
Otherwise, if you are ready to keep "fighting the good fight", then I invite you to use the power of Quantum Reality (as if you had a choice), and read my article 'Become What you Want to Attract'.
Miraculously enough, it seems that in order to be deliriously happy, all you have to do is decide that you want to be.
It will only be a struggle if you are one of those people who was filling in the blanks above...
