The Agony of Victory: Personal Development Breaking Point

This could very well be the single most important personal development concept that you are ever exposed to.

I give my wife full credit for saying the following, although I don't know if she originated the saying or not. Regardless of who the original author was, you would do well to read, remember, and internalize the following words:

In order for people to change, the pain of change must become less than the pain of staying the same.

That concept is so telling about why people do or do not achieve lasting self improvement results, and I want to thank Steve over at The Fast Lane for his post that reminded me to share that quote with my blog readers.

There are very few people (if any) who do not have dreams, ambitions, or fantasies about living a life that is an improvement over their present life in some way. Although we should all be living in and enjoying every single moment, this urge to move forward is a part of the very evolution of our species.

Why, then, do so many people fail to make the positive changes that they want so desperately?

The answer is so simple and has been in plain sight all along: It is simply easier for a person to stay where they are and to deal with whatever discomfort is in their lives than it is to make themselves uncomfortable enough to effect permanent, positive, long-term changes.

Most people want more money or some other form of abundance, yet they don't actually strive for it because their day to day needs are already being met.

They must have enough food, shelter, and clothing to survive, because if they didn't, they would be dead! However, find someone who is about to lose the job that pays their bills, or are about to lose their home to bill collectors, and you will also have found someone who will literally live without sleep in order to turn their circumstances around.

The world (especially the United States) is full of overweight people or people who have negative health conditions that could be eliminated or lessened as a result of eating right and exercising, yet they don't do everything and anything in their power because the pain of continuing to be out of shape is still easier than exercising and eating right every day.

However, find someone who is constantly ridiculed, shunned, or who is repeatedly the victim of prejudice because of their weight or their physical condition, and often times that person will "flip a switch" that turns them into a workout junkie because they have decided that leading a healthy lifestyle is easier (less painful) than the alternative.

People are constantly visiting online dating websites, message boards, and chat rooms in order to find romance and friendship, yet when push comes to shove, they don't make the long-term commitment needed for successful relationships.

The occasional bout of lonliness or sexual frustration by an unattached person is still easier to deal with (less painful) than the risk of getting emotionally and/or financially involved with a long-term partner, roommate, or even just a good friend.

However, someone who has finally "had enough" of their solitary lifestyle will pull out all the stops in order to achieve relationship success. They will also achieve that success because they have decided that the pain of taking a chance on a relationship is less than the pain of being emotionally and/or financially alone.

You can plug this formula into any human equation that you can imagine, and the results will ALWAYS be the same!

People don't make the changes in their lives that they "claim" they want to make because when push comes to shove, even if their life isn't perfect, it is still easier to keep walking the same path than it is to carve a new path through a dense and potentially dangerous jungle.

So, the next time you feel like whining because you don't have enough money, or because you're lonely, or because you're fat, I invite you - with all due respect - to stop whining about it, and to get outside of your comfort zone and to do something about your situation.

You are - after all - the only person who has the power to do that.