Personal Development Sabotage: Playing the Blame Game
Blaming your lack of blissful happiness on anyone but yourself is a crutch - period.
This habit that human beings have of allowing people or circumstances to dictate the level of happiness in their lives boils down to nothing more noble than sheer laziness.
We always want to look at every situation like we did everything 100% perfectly, and if the situation did not turn out 100% perfectly, there most certainly must be someone else to blame for that.
It is certainly easier to find a flaw in another person or in the details of any given event than to admit the fact that we ourselves could have probably worked harder in order to manifest a more positive outcome to that event.
Believers in conscious creation, the Law of Attraction, and even Ho'oponopono will have no problem admitting that anything that has happened in their lives is there as a direct result of the things that transpired prior to that event.
However, you don't have to believe in or understand concepts such as those in order to admit that YOU are responsible for whether or not you are happy with your life. Here are some examples:
Blame: I can't get a good job because the economy is bad
Truth: No, you can't get a good job because you have not applied yourself enough. Maybe you need more education, maybe you need to work harder at the actual job search process, or maybe you just need to improve your self-confidence and attitude about the entire project. If your life depended on it, I bet you would find a way to get a good job.
Blame: I can't lost weight because I have poor metabolism and I don't have time to exercise and eat right.
Truth: Although genetics do play a role in the overall health of people, there is no genetic condition - including metabolic rate - that cannot be modified, and normally it can be done fairly easily.
As far as not having enough time, that it total crap. Every person who has ever lived has had 24 hours in their day. If they could do it, you can do it.
Blame: My spouse or significant other is completely unreasonable and is causing chaos in our home.
Truth: Your spouse or significant other could be a cold-blooded killer, but unless there is an actual danger to you or your children, you CHOOSE to allow that person to affect your life in a negative way.
Either step up to the plate and do what it takes to be happy with your situation, or leave the situation. And no, I don't want to hear "It's not that easy." Yes, it is.
I am going to stop with the Blame/Truth scenarios now, because if you are reading this with an open mind and an ear towards the truth, you have already absorbed and internalized this message.
However, on the other hand, if you are the "victim" in every scenario of life that you are finding less than perfect, no matter how many examples I give, you are still going to answer with the thought, "Yes, but…"
No buts. If you don't like an aspect of your life, then change it.
Will it be hard? Probably. Will it cause chaos in your life? Maybe. Will it cause you to make some hard choices, face some hard realities, and let go of some of the security that you have had in your life up to this point? Very likely.
Or, you could just do nothing and stay unhappy with your circumstances. After all, it is fast, easy, and sometimes even rewarding to point the finger at everyone else as being the cause for YOUR unhappiness.
If it's everyone else's fault, then by default, YOU must be perfect, right?
2 comments:
Aaron,
WOW!!! Tell it like it is. I am continuously shocked each day I encounter the negative attitudes of people around me. If I ask twenty coworkers how they’re doing 19 will say “I’m OK”, or “I’ll be OK when 5 O’clock comes around”, or “Is it Friday yet?” One will say I’m fabulous. I often wonder if it’s always been this way or if this is a different time. As a society we seem to be hesitant to take the responsibility for anything in our lives. Even when it comes to issues like the environment the people who are active in the movement say “the government needs to fix it”, “you need to drive a different vehicle” I would prefer hearing what they’re doing in their lives to make it better. Set an example, lead the way, and take action to make your life or whatever you’re passionate about better. Life is NOT a spectator sport it is your gift from your Creator. Discover your passion and pursue it you will look forward to each day of your life.
You make a great point about the co-workers and their negative responses to common questions like that.
Everyone is looking for the "next" moment when they will able to start enjoying their lives. The moment of power is - and always has been - right now!
Also, I agree about the activists for any given cause. Although their cause may be admirable, and other agencies may need to be involved, by focusing on blaming those other agencies for the lack of results, all they are doing is putting the power for providing a solution squarely in the hands of those agencies.
Great comments - thanks for sharing!
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