This week's Link Love edition runs the gamut from being a kid all the way up through being the future you, and includes many ideals and systems for maximizing the entire journey! Link to Full Story
This is Volume 10 of the Self Improvement and Law of Attraction Link Love series.
This series will be published weekly and will be comprised of links to quality blog posts that have
proven to be extraordinary in their ability to assist, inform, or empower the reader. Enjoy!
1) HELLO, my name is BLOG - Scott Ginsberg brings us more of his common sense wisdom with the post Make your best one your last one. Imagine how great life would be if everything you did was done with the attitude that you only had this ONE shot to do that thing in the best possible way?
2) Contemplate This - If you've been looking for an up to date list of websites that offer plenty of recent information about the Law of Attraction, look no further. Check out the post Law of Attraction Blogs for the complete scoop.
3) Getting Your Music Out There - Mark Spivey is a musician composer who does a GREAT job of sorting out the difference between real and "make believe" in his post What's Wrong with 'American Idol'?. His message: YOU are in control of your destiny, regardless of what the rest of society may be telling you.
4) Sky Windows - One of the participants in the Simply Successful Secrets project put together what I consider to be one of the most no-nonsense guides to successful parenting that I ever seen. What does that have to do with self/personal development? Try being successful while your kids are running your life! Must read for parents or would-be parents: Simply Successful Secrets - Parenting.
5) The DO-Follow Movement - A lot of people don't know it, but many blogs prevent search engines from finding your blog or your website after you post a comment on their blog. It's called a no-follow reference, and it is a total outrage to people who participate in online discussions. A number of people (including Today is that Day) have banded together to start a DO-Follow Movement. Check out the details and some of the thought leaders at Essential Keystrokes, MomGadget, and Randa Clay Design.
6) Scott H. Young - Guest blogger Leo Babauta writes an excellent post called Do Less to Be More Productive in which he not only discusses the real value of quality over quantity, but he also puts forth a simple system that you can use to find and prioritize the tasks that are most worthy of your valuable time.
7) Success from the Nest - Regular readers of this blog will recognize Tony Clark's frequent wisdom, and 15 Minutes as Your Model of Success is no exception. Tony talks about how you can set yourself up for success by getting "inside the head" of a role model. I concur 100% and will also add that by so doing, you may actually redefine what you consider to be "success".
Blogs that have recently featured Today is that Day
Cardin Routh at the recently re-designed Optimist Lab has put together a powerful edition of the Carnival of Deliberate Creation. Many thanks for featuring my post, Cardin, and for your positive feedback as well!
Dr. Hal Sommerschield over at North Star Mental Fitness discusses the very cool concept of Ho'oponopono in his post Four Miraculous Phrases. Dr. Hal delivers a lot of great information about Ho'oponopono in a short period of time, and he references one of my recent posts, as well as some wisdom from Shama Hyder, who was recently interviewed here at Today is that Day.
That's it for this week! Thanks as always to all of our authors for their continuing efforts to keep us all informed, empowered, and entertained!
p.s. - Don't forget - The very first edition of the Doing it Differently Blog Carnival will be up here at Today is that Day on Sunday, April 15th. I've received a ton of great submissions, so look forward to learning about some ways to handle your life that you might not otherwise have thought of!
Blaming your lack of blissful happiness on anyone but yourself is a crutch - period.
This habit that human beings have of allowing people or circumstances to dictate the level of happiness in their lives boils down to nothing more noble than sheer laziness.
We always want to look at every situation like we did everything 100% perfectly, and if the situation did not turn out 100% perfectly, there most certainly must be someone else to blame for that.
It is certainly easier to find a flaw in another person or in the details of any given event than to admit the fact that we ourselves could have probably worked harder in order to manifest a more positive outcome to that event.
Believers in conscious creation, the Law of Attraction, and even Ho'oponopono will have no problem admitting that anything that has happened in their lives is there as a direct result of the things that transpired prior to that event.
However, you don't have to believe in or understand concepts such as those in order to admit that YOU are responsible for whether or not you are happy with your life. Here are some examples:
Blame: I can't get a good job because the economy is bad
Truth: No, you can't get a good job because you have not applied yourself enough. Maybe you need more education, maybe you need to work harder at the actual job search process, or maybe you just need to improve your self-confidence and attitude about the entire project. If your life depended on it, I bet you would find a way to get a good job.
Blame: I can't lost weight because I have poor metabolism and I don't have time to exercise and eat right.
Truth: Although genetics do play a role in the overall health of people, there is no genetic condition - including metabolic rate - that cannot be modified, and normally it can be done fairly easily.
As far as not having enough time, that it total crap. Every person who has ever lived has had 24 hours in their day. If they could do it, you can do it.
Blame: My spouse or significant other is completely unreasonable and is causing chaos in our home.
Truth: Your spouse or significant other could be a cold-blooded killer, but unless there is an actual danger to you or your children, you CHOOSE to allow that person to affect your life in a negative way.
Either step up to the plate and do what it takes to be happy with your situation, or leave the situation. And no, I don't want to hear "It's not that easy." Yes, it is.
I am going to stop with the Blame/Truth scenarios now, because if you are reading this with an open mind and an ear towards the truth, you have already absorbed and internalized this message.
However, on the other hand, if you are the "victim" in every scenario of life that you are finding less than perfect, no matter how many examples I give, you are still going to answer with the thought, "Yes, but…"
No buts. If you don't like an aspect of your life, then change it.
Will it be hard? Probably. Will it cause chaos in your life? Maybe. Will it cause you to make some hard choices, face some hard realities, and let go of some of the security that you have had in your life up to this point? Very likely.
Or, you could just do nothing and stay unhappy with your circumstances. After all, it is fast, easy, and sometimes even rewarding to point the finger at everyone else as being the cause for YOUR unhappiness.
If it's everyone else's fault, then by default, YOU must be perfect, right?If you are reading this post, then there is a good chance that you have spent a fair amount of time reading about self improvement, positive thinking, conscious creation, or other lifestyle-enhancing concepts. Big props to you for having soaked up all of that information, but do you think there might be a chance that some things are starting to slip through the cracks?
Most people believe that we remember everything that we are ever exposed to, and I would have to say that I agree with that.
Considering the small percentage of the potential of the human mind that we use, I would even say that we’ve got WAY more storage space than we probably need. At least during this stage of our evolution.
Either way, whether your mental hard drive is bursting at the seams, or if you feel that you are intellectually running on empty, when it comes to self improvement, it is very easy to start thinking that there is so much information out there, you’re not sure which end is up!
Positive Thinking. The Law of Attraction. Goal Setting. Conscious Creation. Brain Wave Therapy. Meditation. The Power of Intention. EFT. Ho’oponopono. Subliminal Messaging. Photo Reading. Lucid Dreaming. Energy Healing. Hypnotherapy. Visualization. Affirmations.
The list goes on and on and on. How do you choose a discipline that is going to work for you when everyone claims that their system is the best one?
Simple - you don’t.
You are about to be given the one very simple, no degree required, no purchased needed, no holds barred answer to the Self Improvement Question:
Want whatever it is that you want, and don’t stop wanting it until whatever it is comes into your life.
Whew! That was a hard one, wasn’t it? Years of experimentation, millions of dollars worth of research, thousands of books, programs, and seminars, and the simple answer is that all you have to do is really want whatever it is that you want.
It doesn’t matter what “it” is. Weight loss. Financial success. Career satisfaction. Wonderful relationships.
Everything that you could ever want in your life will come into your life by the simple act of you constantly thinking about it. And I do mean constantly!
If I called you up in the middle of the night and said, “What are you doing?” your only response should be “Thinking about my dreams.”
If I came to your place of business and said, “What are you doing?” your only response should be “Thinking about my dreams.”
If I walked into your bathroom while you were taking a shower in the morning, handed you a cup of coffee and said, “What are you doing?” your only response should be “Thinking about my dreams.”
If I gave you a fresh stalk of broccoli to cut up and put into the salad that you were making for dinner and said, “What are you doing?” your only response should be “Thinking about my dreams.”
I could go on and on with examples just like those above, but by now you should get the picture. You have to have what Napoleon Hill called a “white hot” desire to have whatever it is that you want.
That desire should set your very soul ablaze, and you should spend your life on a constant and never-ending quest to put out that fire.
Your very existence should be powered by the unending pursuit of your desire, to the point where you will burn your ships and run wildly into battle screaming “GIVE ME MY DREAMS, OR GIVE ME DEATH!”
That is when you will finally understand. That is when it will “click” for you. That is when you will draw your desires into your life just as surely as you were born, and just as surely as you will one day pass from this physical existence.
When you truly embrace your desires with such a passion and a ferocity that no obstacle will stop you, no circumstance will slow you down, nothing on this earth can sway you from your destiny - THAT is when you will cause yourself to run headlong into your destiny at breakneck speed.
You can cite whatever self improvement “system” that you want for this process. Conscious creation, the Law of Attraction, even just old fashioned good luck.
It is not necessary for you to know how your dreams are brought to you. All you have to know is that if you truly want them, then focus on them as if your very life depended on it, and do not let that laser-focus waver for even a moment.
What will happen then? How will your dreams magically manifest?
Doors will open for you. Opportunities for success will fall into your lap. Necessary people will come into your life. Circumstances will appear, disappear, or change in your favor. By the force of your own WILL, your world will rearrange in such a way as to give you everything that you wish for.
This system is absolutely 100% guaranteed to work. It works for every person, in every circumstance, regardless of who they are or what it is that they want.
Don’t believe me? Then try it for 30 days. Spend the next 30 days thinking of nothing but the thing that you desire more than anything else in all the world. You can use visualizations, affirmations, day-dreaming, subliminal programming, goal setting, etc. Choose the system or systems that work for you, or don’t choose any at all.
Just think about what you want all day, every single day, for 30 days. Not for 5 minutes here, 10 minutes there, a couple more minutes over there. All day. Every day. Picture your life in your head as if you have already achieved whatever it is that you want.
Be careful, though! When you do this properly, you will find yourself dangerously closer to success than you have ever been in your entire life. When that happens, don’t get scared and run away. Just spend some quality time patting yourself on the back, and keep right on doing it the next month.
Before you know it, you will run out of dreams and you will have to now make some even bigger and better ones. How cool will THAT be??
Would you subscribe to the point of view that there are problems in the world?
For that matter, would you agree that there are problems much closer to home, such as your job, your friends, and even your own household?
Most people would answer “yes” to both of those questions, and most people would also back up that answer by pointing out that a whole pile of other people are either the cause of those problems, or that they keep the “problem engine” running by not cleaning up the way that they handle any given set of circumstances.
You will get no argument from me that there are plenty of problems that need to be solved, and I’ll even put my own “stuff” out there by saying that there are plenty of things in my own circle of influence that I would like to see happen differently than they do.
However, what if everything that happens around you is actually your fault? Which, by the way, is another point of view that I subscribe to, at least on a “local” level, if not worldwide.
Awhile ago I put up a post about the self improvement system known as Ho’oponopono. Although Ho’oponopono is based on healing imbalances with others, it is actually a system that is completely internal, and practitioners of that art claim to be able to solve issues with other people without even meeting or talking to them.
There is some very convincing evidence that we have the ability to influence others by working on our own inner-thoughts, and I will recommend that you grab a copy of Zero Limits by Joe Vitale as soon as it is released, and I will also refer you to this excellent post by Steve Pavlina where he gives some examples of how this concept has benefited his life.
For my part, I want to take it one step further, however, and explain a vicious circle that you can find yourself in that will keep replicating itself over and over until you find a way to break out of it.
In a nutshell, Ho’oponopono and similar beliefs state that our surroundings are powered by our own inner beliefs and perceptions of the way that we think things are, or should be.
To keep it “local”, I will stick with the example of your spouse or your significant other.
If you expect that your spouse is going to get mad at you because you spent too much money, or you stayed out too late with your friends, or because you shirked your responsibilities around the house, there is a very real chance that is exactly what you will get because you expect it.
However, the real truth of the matter is that the anger or disappointment that you expect to see in someone else’s eyes is merely a reflection of what you are already feeling.
You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to realize that you won’t feel 100% happy with yourself if you allow yourself to succumb to a desire that you know for a fact is not in your best interest, or in the best interest of the people that you care about.
So, whenever it comes time to “face the music” with the person that you believe is going to be angry with you or disappointed, most of the time you will find that anger and disappointment waiting right there for you, just as you expected.
Then, to make matters worse, as you have already beaten yourself up (usually without even knowing it) because you know that you did something that wasn’t up to your own personal standards, your spouse or significant other reacts to you in a negative manner about what you did.
Does the term “rubbing salt in an open wound” mean anything to you at this point? Not only have you done something that you consider to be wrong, but then you have to face it out in the open, usually with people that you care about and whose opinions you respect.
It’s like stubbing your toe, and then falling over in pain only to hit your head on the wall on the way down!
Also, this concept is certainly not limited to when you have done something that you consider to be wrong. The same thing applies whenever you see things in other people that do not please you.
When you expect your children to not make enough of an effort in school, you are actually coming face to face with the fact that on some level you feel that your own education is not up to par.
When you expect your co-workers to find the most effective way to cause your job to be more difficult, you are actually choreographing their performance due to the fact that you feel your own work ethic is not high enough, or that you are unhappy about your career status.
When you expect your neighbors to be loud and obnoxious, what you are really coming face to face with is the fact that you have not achieved the level of success that will allow you to live in a big house on a private lot, or that you have self-limiting beliefs about money.
Fortunately, for every instance that you find your negative expectations of others to be 100% fulfilled, you are actually being given a wonderful opportunity. You can help them to be the kind of people that you want to be around, and help yourself at the same time.
All you have to do is start managing your expectations of yourself as well as the people around you in order to keep those expectations at a happier or more harmonious level.
It all starts with you being honest with yourself, and working on your inner beliefs.
The next time someone does something that you find displeasing, simply ask yourself why you find it displeasing. Dig deep and find the true answer, not the answer that you think is appropriate.
As is often the case with self-limiting beliefs, your reaction to the circumstances of your life can be colored by the self-limiting belief, simply because that is what you are used to.
However, by simply coming to terms with your own “inner demons” you will then start to project happiness, confidence, and prosperity to all who are in your immediate vicinity, not to mention the positive vibrations that you will be sending out into the universe as a whole.
So, the next time you get upset with someone, find out why you are actually upset with yourself. You will then have found the path to your own resolution, which will spill over onto every circumstance that is affected by your new level of understanding.
Think about how great it is to have control over every single moment of your life - even the circumstances that right now might seem hopeless!
As I’m sure applies to many of you, the “Star Light, Star Bright” rhyme has been part of my life since I was a little kid.
If you’re not familiar with it, it is just a little limerick that people say when they see the first star in the night sky, and then they make a wish upon that star.
For the uninformed, the original version goes something like this:
“Star light, star bright,
First star I see tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Make a wish upon this star tonight.”
Well, since becoming educated about the amazing power that each of us has to consciously create our own lives, it has occurred to me that a lot of the beliefs and practices that were once a foregone conclusion, have turned out to have little or no meaning in the world of conscious creation.
Now, that isn’t to say that the “good ol’ days” are gone and that we shouldn’t honor and enjoy those traditions. However, the truly educated will modify their approach as they learn more about how it all works.
In this particular case, I got a good laugh (and a permanent change in my rhyming) when I was inspired to change the last line to “make this star do my bidding tonight!”
Because, friends and neighbors, not only do we each have the power to command those stars, but for those of you who have dipped a toe into the Quantum Physics realm, or gotten an earful about Ho’oponopono, there is a very real chance that the star you’re wishing on is only there because you are looking at it!
However, whether you are ready to bend your mind around those types of concepts or not, the fact that you are the one - and the only one - who creates your reality is a very real fact, and it is a fact that you should take quite seriously. If you want to have fun that is!
That is the whole point, right? To have fun? I mean, if you’re not trying to have a good time, and to be happy, then what are you here for?
We are all here to enjoy what this world has to offer, and the most effective way to do that is to give ourselves the resources needed to enjoy life in the manner which resonates with us most as individuals.
Here’s the thing, though: If you truly want to make positive changes in your life (positive from your point of view, that is), then you need to realize that the power to command stars to do your bidding is a power that has to be exercised in order for it to do you any good.
The classic line from the Spiderman comic books was “With great power comes great responsibility” and that sentiment very much applies to your life.
If you don’t take the necessary steps in order to improve your life, then guess what will happen?
And no, that is not a trick question.
Too many people go through life with this totally inappropriate belief that “things will just work out” or worse, that their destiny is governed by the actions of others.
Believing concepts such as that are what land people well on this side of what they truly want their lives to be. If your life is not what you want it to be right now, don’t you think that it’s time you started taking responsibility, and, more importantly, started taking action?
Over at the Renovate Your Life with Craig blog1, Craig Harper has put together a Top 10 list of traits that he has seen from people who have been consistently successful over the years, and sitting on your butt waiting for life to bring you some goodies is most definitely not on that list.
If you do not take action in order to make your life everything that you want it to be, who do you think is going to do it for you? I don’t care how many friends, family members, and acquaintances you have, I guarantee that no one is as interested in your well-being as you are.
Karen has a great post over at the Live the Power2 blog where she talks about the simple fact that simply “showing up” is one of most important keys to success.
You see, “showing up” means consistently doing whatever it is that you are supposed to be doing. It doesn’t mean exercising like a mad man for 7 days straight and then taking 3 weeks off. It doesn’t mean curbing unnecessary spending for a month, and then blowing your savings in one weekend at the mall. It certainly doesn’t mean doing something nice one time for your significant other and then expecting to have a blissful on-going relationship because you got off your can one time and thought of someone other than yourself.
Consistency is the key! Consistency. Consistency. Consistency.
Did I mention consistency?
It doesn’t matter how much of a rocket scientist, brain surgeon, relationship wizard, financial guru, or fitness fanatic that you think you are. If you don’t consistently apply your knowledge towards self improvement, you’ll never make any permanent headway.
One of the problems that a lot of people have is that they think they have to “figure it all out” before they get started. As human beings having a 3-dimensional experience here on planet earth, we tend to think that if we can’t see the direct path from start to finish, that we shouldn’t even make the effort.
However, as Brian Kim so eloquently points out in his post entitled ‘You Don’t Have To Get It Perfect The First Time’3, experience is the key to learning how to attain success:
“Experience is a far greater teacher than knowledge simply because of the fact that experience shows you exactly what knowledge you need to pick up that you’re missing.”
So, at this point, you need to ask yourself which type of person you are. The type who wishes upon distant stars and hopes upon hope that the star will send you a miracle, or are you the kind of person who designs your own constellations?
Regardless of your answer to that question, you’re right.
Footnotes:
At this point in the game, the word "Ho 'oponopono" is not nearly as well known as it will be within the next 6 to 12 months, so I am putting forth this basic description of Ho 'oponopono so that you can decide for yourself if you would like to engage in some further study.
Based on what I know, I would recommend that you DO spend more time learning about and practicing Ho 'oponopono, and if you take that advice, Dr. Joe Vitale is the man who you want to learn about it from. Dr. Vitale's passion on this subject is amazing, and as of this date (November 7, 2006) he already has a book in the works on this very subject.
The basic idea behind Ho 'oponopono stems from the meaning of the word, given to us by the Hawaiian culture. Loosely translated, Ho 'oponopono means "to set things right", or, in simpler terms, to fix stuff!
Everyone has things that they want to have fixed, and Ho 'oponopono is not only a powerful way to fix literally everything that you can imagine, but it is so ridiculously simple to use that there is really no reason to not take advantage of this powerful technique.
The basic concept behind Ho 'oponopono is going to first require you to realize the immutable fact that your entire existence comes from within, not from outside of yourself.
John Assaraf does a great job of vocalizing this concept during part of his teachings in the movie 'The Secret'. John says "There is no 'out there' and 'in here'", and that is the very truth of our Universal existence.
We are all one with all things at all times. That may be tough to grasp for some, but it's true. We are all simply extensions of "source energy", which is the very "stuff" that the entire Universe is made out of.
So, if we are made out of this source energy - which we are, and based on Quantum Mechanics, we are all creators of our own existence (which we are), then one very simple truth rears it's head for all to see, and it is quite undeniable:
Everything is your Creation!
Everything that you see, hear, feel, smell, touch, think, remember, or emotionally react to - these are all things that YOU have created. And yes, that includes the good, as well as the bad. Each of these things exists because on some level you want them to exist, which takes us back to Ho 'oponopono.
If everything that you perceive in the world exists BECAUSE you perceive it, can you guess what amazing and God-like power you have at your very fingertips?
That's right. You can either make more of it, or you can make it go away!
No, I'm not talking about creating thousand dollar bills out of thin air, or wishing away annoying in-laws. However, it is indeed possible for you to create your life so that you HAVE thousand dollars bills, or that your in-laws are no longer an annoyance to you.
That tip alone is probably worth the price of admission, right? :)
How is all of this done via Ho 'oponopono? By simply accepting responsibility.
When you truly grasp and get your head around the fact that you are literally creating every single piece of your existence - from the smallest molecule up through the tallest skyscraper, from the most heart-felt Love to the most gut-wrenching hatred - then you realize that you can effect change over each and every one of those things because you are responsible for them being there to begin with.
You do this simply by showing Gratitude for the things in your life that you are thankful for and that you want to grow and flourish, and by showing Forgiveness for the things that you want to go away or diminish.
Now, let's see if you have been paying attention:
If you are responsible for all things in your existence - the good as well as the bad - and you have the power to diminish or to allow those things to grow simply by showing Gratitude or Forgiveness, who are you showing Gratitude and Forgiveness TO?
......
......
......
Okay, time's up. It's YOU! If you created something that is wonderful, you are thanking yourself for doing so, thus ensuring future occurrences of that same positive behavior. If you created something terrible, then you are forgiving yourself for doing it, thus making sure that it doesn't happen again in the future.
Here is where it gets tough to swallow, but these concepts are just as true on a "microcosm" level as they are on a "macrocosm" level:
You are responsible for everything that is part of your existence. I always like the bad news first, so I'll share that courtesy with you (thus creating more courtesy for myself, if you've been paying attention):
Terrorism is your fault. Murder is your fault. Famine and disease are your fault. School shootings are your fault. Taxes are your fault.
OUCH! That hurts, doesn't it? You bet it does. But here's the good news:
Love is your fault. Childbirth is your fault. Families are your fault. Friends are your fault. Medical miracles are your fault. Firemen are your fault. Pets are your fault. A child's curiosity is your fault. Unadulterated JOY is all YOUR fault!
Are you starting to see your power now? You can do it all. In fact, you ARE doing it all. Right now, at this very moment as you read this. You are both creating and destroying your world, because it is all YOU.
When you go to bed tonight and you can't sleep, you created that. When you pass out face down on your pillow and get the best night's sleep of your life, you created that, too.
When you get out of bed in the morning and it's raining so hard that you can't even see your car in your own driveway, that is your creation. When you get up in the morning and you are greeted by a dawn that could literally be the dawning of Time itself (and it is), that is also your creation.
It's all you. All the Good, all the Bad, and everything in between. And you can control these things by learning to control your Gratitude and your Forgiveness reactions to them with Ho 'oponopono.
Different practioners have different methods of invoking the power of Ho 'oponopono, but since I believe in Dr. Joe Vitale (after all, he is MY creation), I am utilizing his methods of invoking Ho 'oponopono, which can be summed up in the 4 phrases that he uses whenever he wants to invoke Ho 'oponopono, which is also called "cleaning":
"I Love You"
"I'm Sorry"
"Please Forgive Me"
"Thank You"
That's it! By creating a mantra of saying those 4 things pretty much as often as you can day after day and week after week, you will quickly come to the realization that by Loving yourself, by Apologizing to yourself when you have done something wrong, by Forgiving yourself for that wrong-doing, and by Thanking yourself for the opportunity to create Good, as well as to stop creating Bad, that you can create your life to be "right".
Remember that the loose definition of Ho 'oponopono is "to set things right". Since you are the sole creator of your entire existence, you have the power to create whatever "right" world that you want to live in, and you can do it by simply saying and believing those 4 simple phrases.
I know that for some of you, all of this may seem incredibly hard to believe. You refuse to grasp the fact that you are literally the very creator of the entire existence that you live, and that you can easily manipulate that existence with 4 sets of words.
So here is one more test for you:
If you don't believe any of this, who created that disbelief?
Think about it.
And yes, I Forgive You.
